“Rudolf the red haired nimpho…” Sang Crackhead Ray cheerfully as he ripped the cord and the little ﬁve horse power mercury sputtered to life on an old Boston whaler. “had a very shiny penis. None of the other raindeers, let him play in any orgy games!” He sat with a bounce on an aging cooler and wedged a Seneca in his toothless gums. “I knew you’d run old girl!” He said cheerfully, lighting his smoke. "Cause never fear! Ray is here! Mmmhmm.” He slapped his thigh then reached around his feet till he found a Yahoo bottle. “Empty? What the fuck. I just had that… Wait, empty cause I just had it! Hah! Hahaha! Get it?” He slapped his thigh again and threw the bottle over his shoulder into the water, then sprang up and ﬂung the lines onto the dock. “Now where was I? Then one day on christmas eve, santa came to say….. Rudolph with your penis so bright, won’t you ride my wife tonight!” Crackhead Ray and the old whaler disappeared into a fog as he set out across the bay. He was never seen again.